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Author Previous Topic: Basswood Corner Posts? Topic Next Topic: Monday morning Lounge 6/5/2017
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BigLars
Engineer

Premium Member


Posted - 02/05/2013 :  4:22:49 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Funny.


Country: USA | Posts: 10939 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 02/05/2013 :  8:38:17 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I liked that one Rich!



Country: USA | Posts: 1071 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 02/10/2013 :  10:28:28 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A man and his wife walked into a dentist's office. The man said to the dentist, "Doc, I'm in one heck of a hurry I have two buddies sitting out in my car waiting for us to go play golf, so forget about the anesthetic, I don't have time for the gums to get numb. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! We have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:30 already... I don't have time to wait for the anesthetic to work!'

The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have his tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." So the dentist asks him, "Which tooth is it sir?"

The man turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth Honey, and show him . . . .


As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21490 Go to Top of Page

jaynjay
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 02/10/2013 :  2:41:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit jaynjay's Homepage  Reply with Quote
I found this website by accident; but it is pretty cool. It features the 50 worst cars of all time.

This is the horsey-horse. It was suppose to take the fear of riding in a car by placing a wooden horses head on the front of the car, simulating riding in a carriage. The wood head was to used to carry gasoline and the back-firing engine resembled a horse farting



http://www.time.com/time/specials/2007/0,28757,1658545,00.html


John

Country: USA | Posts: 5558 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 02/11/2013 :  10:07:47 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive, double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. He complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

HHHHelloooo.......... just because I'm blonde doesn't mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast-talking sales guy told me last year... that these windows would pay for themselves in a year. Hellooooo? It's been a year, so they're paid for, I told him. There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally hung up. He never called back. I bet he felt like an idiot.


As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21490 Go to Top of Page

deemery
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 02/11/2013 :  10:47:16 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Got this from a friend, I don't know if it's an actual response.


A Canadian female libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the Canadian government, complaining about the treatment of captive insurgents (terrorists) being held in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. She demanded a response to her letter. Shortly, she received back the following reply:

From: National Defense Headquarters
M Gen George R. Pearkes Bldg., 15 NT
101 Colonel By Drive
Ottawa , ON K1A 0K2
Canada


Dear Concerned Citizen:

Thank you for your recent letter expressing your profound concern of treatment of the Taliban and Al Qaeda terrorists captured by Canadian Forces, who were subsequently transferred to the Afghanistan Government and are currently being held by Afghan officials in Afghanistan National Correctional System facilities. Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinions were heard loud and clear here in Ottawa. You will be pleased to learn, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new department here at the Department of National Defense, to be called 'Liberals Accept Responsibility for Killers' program, or L.A.R.K. for short.

In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided, on a trial basis, to divert several terrorists and place them in homes of concerned citizens such as yourself, around the country, under those citizens personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and is scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence in Toronto next Monday. Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud is your detainee, and is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint. You will be pleased to know that we will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with your recommendations.

Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope that your sensitivity to what you described as his 'attitudinal problem' will help him overcome those character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counselling and home schooling; however, we strongly recommend that you hire some assistant caretakers.

Please advise any Jewish friends, neighbors or relatives about your house guest, as he might get agitated or even violent, but we are sure you can reason with him. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items locked up, unless in your opinion, this might offend him.

Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills either in your home or wherever you choose to take him while helping him adjust to life in our country. Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters except sexually, since he views females as a form of property, thereby having no rights, including refusal of his sexual demands. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him.

You also should know that he has shown violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka over time. Just remember that it is all part of 'respecting his culture and religious beliefs' as described in your letter. You take good care of Ahmed and remember that we will try to have a counsellor available to help you over any difficulties you encounter while Ahmed is adjusting to Canadian culture.

Thanks again for your concern. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job and care for our fellow man. Good luck and God bless you.
Cordially,
Gordon O'Connor
Minister of National Defense


dave


Modeling 1890s (because the voices in my head told me to)

Country: USA | Posts: 6491 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 02/12/2013 :  11:01:13 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
When you try to carry in all your groceries at one time.



As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21490 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 02/15/2013 :  10:59:13 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Just in case you needed to visualize what 1 HP is.




As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21490 Go to Top of Page

mwbpequod
Fireman



Posted - 02/16/2013 :  10:35:28 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Two lads were sitting at the bar.

"Here now, you're really slugging down the pints!" says the one.

"Found my wife in bed with me best friend..." was the response from his buddy.

"Damn! Whud you do?"

"Looked 'er straight in the eye and sed, "We're through! Get the the 'ell out!""

"Good show! I'm buying the next round!"
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
"Er...but what about yer best friend?"

"Oh, I just looked him straight in the eye and sed, "BAD DOG!""


___________________________________________________________________
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

Country: USA | Posts: 1538 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 02/16/2013 :  10:36:58 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Old west pictures: http://blogs.denverpost.com/captured/2011/02/23/from-the-archive-frontier-life-in-the-west/2713/

Many modeling ideas there.


As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21490 Go to Top of Page

mabloodhound
Fireman



Posted - 02/16/2013 :  2:16:10 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Nice photos Rick.
You should also save those in either the Research thread or Photography so we could find them later.
Excellent research references.


Dave Mason
D&G RR (Dunstead & Granford) in On30
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”~Benjamin Franklin
The 2nd Amendment, America’s 1st Homeland Security

Country: USA | Posts: 6565 Go to Top of Page

brakie
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 02/16/2013 :  3:02:03 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If anybody is wondering about the hostile camps at Standing Rock those are the elements of the Sioux nations that refuse to surrender and walk the "white man's road of starvation and great sickness".A uneasy true prevailed.

Also a solider pay was $10.00 a month while a cowboy's pay was $30.00 and found a month.

Both life styles was harsh.



Country: USA | Posts: 6979 Go to Top of Page

deemery
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 02/16/2013 :  4:54:46 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Photo #3 shows Sturgis pre-motorcycle!!!

dave


Modeling 1890s (because the voices in my head told me to)

Country: USA | Posts: 6491 Go to Top of Page

mwbpequod
Fireman



Posted - 02/17/2013 :  10:02:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
To do List:

1) Make vanilla pudding. Put in mayo jar. Eat in public.

2) Hire 2 private investigators. Get them to follow each other.

3) Wear a shirt that says "Life". Hand out lemons on street corner.

4) Get into a crowded elevator and say, "I bet you're all wondering why I gathered you here today."

5) Major in Philosophy. Ask people WHY they would like fries with that.

6) Run into a store and ask what year it is. When some one answers, yell, "It worked!" and run out cheering.

7) Become a doctor. Change last name to Acula.

8.) Change name to Simon. Speak in 3rd person.

9) Buy a parrot. Teach the parrot to say "Help! I've been turned into a parrot."

10) Follow joggers around in your car blasting "Eye of the Tiger" for encouragement.


___________________________________________________________________
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

Country: USA | Posts: 1538 Go to Top of Page

jimdad1
Engine Wiper

Posted - 02/17/2013 :  10:41:06 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
LEROY OF DETROIT

In a Detroit church one Sunday morning, a preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Leroy got in line, and when it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Leroy, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Leroy replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing."

The preacher put one finger of one hand in Leroy's ear, placed his other hand on top of Leroy's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for Leroy, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Leroy, how is your hearing now?"

Leroy answered, "I don't know. It ain't 'til Thursday."



Country: Canada | Posts: 202 Go to Top of Page
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