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Author Previous Topic: Happy Thanksgiving Topic Next Topic: Wednesday morning lounge
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Posted - 11/16/2014 :  1:50:58 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by Ray Dunakin

I shot a few new photos of my annual "Patio of Terror". No trains involved but still fun. I added several new jack o'lanterns this year. I use artificial pumpkins so I can reuse them every year, also saves on having to carve a bunch at the last minute. A sample photo is attached. You can see the rest here:


Not bad, not bad. I like the ghost, looks a lot like my neighbor down the street.


Some of the pumpkins:

And here's one of the ghosts I made:


Country: USA | Posts: 1612 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 11/17/2014 :  10:35:44 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I chanced upon this show featuring Passenger Train cars that have been lovingly restored by their owners last night, perhaps some of you may enjoy it as well. http://www.travelchannel.com/tv-shows/tricked-out-trains

Country: USA | Posts: 1079 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 11/17/2014 :  11:34:45 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Great find Steve, and thanks for bringing it to our attention. Looks like I missed episode 1, but I set up my DVR to record the series. Looks interesting!


Country: USA | Posts: 13755 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 11/18/2014 :  08:49:29 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
While making rounds, a doctor points out an X-ray to a group of medical students.

"As you can see," she says, "the patient limps because his left fibula and tibia are radically arched. Charles, what would you do in a case like this?"

"Well," ponders the student, "I suppose I'd limp too."

Country: USA | Posts: 24106 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 11/25/2014 :  07:49:44 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A guy joins his friend seated at the bar and notices that right in front of his friend there's a miniature guy playing a miniature piano right there on the bar next to a lamp.

"Can't help but notice the little guy and piano. Where did you get it?

"Oh, I got it from the genie in the lamp."

"Really!! Can I try?"

"Sure, why not?", and he hands him the lamp.

He rubs the lamp, up pops the genie, and he immediately wishes, "I wish for a million bucks!"

In a blinding flash, the bar is hip deep with ducks!

"Hey!! There's something wrong with this genie!", he yells at his friend. "I think it's got some sort of hearing problem."

His friend replied, "I think you're right. I didn't wish for a 12' pianist."

In a time like ours seemings and portents signify. Ours is a generation when dogs howl and the skin crawls on the skull with its beast's foreboding.

Country: USA | Posts: 2262 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 11/25/2014 :  09:10:30 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

A blonde walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the Loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks andNeeds to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Mercedes Benz SL 500.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank, she has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car collateral for the loan.

The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blond for using a $110,000 Benz as collateral against a $5,000 loan.

An employee of the bank then proceeds to drive the Benz into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41.

The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire.

What puzzles us is, why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in New York City can I park my Car for two weeks for only $15.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"

(From my friend who lives in a house with 5 blonds, wife and 4 kids. He's heard them all.)

Modeling 1890s (because the voices in my head told me to)

Country: USA | Posts: 8637 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 11/26/2014 :  5:26:47 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
In a remote mountain area, there lived an order of Monks, who were pledged to a vow of total silence, except on one certain day of the year, timed to fall on the birthday of their Patron Saint.

On this very special day, one - and one only - Monk was allowed to speak, and this was limited to just eight words.

The first year, one Monk stands before his brothers and states,

"I really dislike the food in this place!"

Twelve months pass in silent prayer and devotions, and again on the special day, a second Monk stands up and remarks,

"I think the food here is all right!"

Yet another year passes in devout and pious silence, and again on the special day, a third Monk stands before his brothers,

"I hate the constant bickering here - I'm leaving !"



Time is the Gauge of Existence

Country: Australia | Posts: 1356 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 11/26/2014 :  7:10:59 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This is funny!!!



"And in the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. It's the life in your years." A. Lincoln

Country: USA | Posts: 12895 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 12/16/2014 :  11:23:49 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Arnold Schwarzenegger Windscreen Wiper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4h_bndds32A

Country: USA | Posts: 24106 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 12/16/2014 :  8:53:26 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
That's pretty funny!

Edited by - Ray Dunakin on 12/16/2014 8:53:58 PM

Country: USA | Posts: 3331 Go to Top of Page

Engine Wiper

Posted - 12/17/2014 :  6:45:42 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Chili Cook-off

Note: Please take time to read this slowly. If you pay attention to the first two judges, the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas, you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook-off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park.

Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili taster named Frank, who was visiting from Springfield , IL.

Frank: "Recently, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy and, besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted."

Here are the scorecard notes from the event:

Judge # 1 -- A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick.
Judge # 2 -- Nice, smooth tomato flavor. Very mild.
Judge # 3 (Frank) -- Holy ****, what is this
stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway.
Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that's the
worst one. These Texans are crazy.

Judge # 1 -- Smoky, with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang.
Judge # 2 -- Exciting BBQ flavor, needs more peppers to be taken
Judge # 3 -- Keep this out of the reach of children. I'm not sure what I'm
supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two
people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They
had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face.

Judge # 1 -- Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick.
Judge # 2 -- A bit salty, good use of peppers.
Judge # 3 -- Call the EPA. I've located a uranium spill.
My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows
the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid
pounded me on the back, now my backbone is in the front
part of my chest. I'm getting loaded from all of the beer.

Judge # 1 -- Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing.
Judge # 2 -- Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side
dish for fish or other mild foods, not much of a chili.
Judge # 3 -- I felt something scraping across my tongue,
but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste
buds? Sally, the beer maid, was standing behind me with fresh
refills. That 300-pound woman is starting to look HOT...just
like this nuclear waste I'm eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac?

Judge # 1 -- Meaty, strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,
adding considerable kick. Very impressive.
Judge # 2 -- Chili using shredded beef, could use more tomato. Must
admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement.
Judge # 3 -- My ears are ringing, sweat is pouring off my forehead and
I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind
me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I
told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved
my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from
the pitcher. I wonder if I'm burning my lips off. It
really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop
screaming. Screw those rednecks.

Judge # 1 -- Thin yet bold
vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers.
Judge # 2 -- The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers, onions, and garlic. Superb.
Judge # 3 -- My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,
sulfuric flames. Icrapped on myself when I farted and I'm
worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to
stand behind me except that Sally. Can't feel my lips anymore.
I need to wipe my butt with a snow cone.

Judge # 1 -- A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers.
Judge # 2 -- Ho hum, tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of
chili peppers at the last moment. **I should take note
that I am worried about Judge #3. He appears to be in a bit
of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably.**
Judge # 3 -- You could put a grenade in my mouth, pull the pin, and I
wouldn't feel a thing. I've lost sight in one eye, and the
world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is
covered with chili, which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My
pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the
autopsy, they'll know what killed me. I've decided to stop
breathing it's too painful. Screw it; I'm not getting any
oxygen anyway. If I need air, I'll just suck it in through the
4-inch hole in my stomach.

Judge # 1 -- The perfect ending, this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold
but spicy enough to declare its existence.
Judge # 2 -- This final entry is a good, balanced chili. Neither mild nor
hot. **Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3
farted, passed out, fell over and pulled the chili pot down on
top of himself. Not sure if he's going to make it. Poor feller,
wonder how he'd have reacted to really hot chili? **
Judge # 3 - No Report....

The V & T lives in my garage. Soon...


Edited by - Norton on 12/17/2014 6:46:45 PM

Country: USA | Posts: 190 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 12/20/2014 :  1:25:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
• I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

• When chemists die, they barium.

• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.

• A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.

• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.

• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.

• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I can't put it down.

• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

• They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type-O.

• This dyslexic man walks into a bra.

• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

• A cross-eyed teacher lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?

• When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

• What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back four seconds.

• I wondered why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

• Broken pencils are pointless.

• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.

• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.

• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.

• All the toilets in London police stations have been stolen.
Police say they have nothing to go on.

• I took the job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.

• Velcro - what a rip off!

• Cartoonist found dead in home. Details are sketchy.

Country: USA | Posts: 24106 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 12/20/2014 :  8:32:45 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
ROTFL!! Great puns, Rick!

Country: USA | Posts: 3331 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 12/23/2014 :  5:07:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hi All, I hope you find these photographs interesting, they are all well done. Click on the photograph to enlarge it. The link:

Color Photographs of Street Scenes from between the 1950s and 1970s

Country: USA | Posts: 24106 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 01/04/2015 :  11:24:36 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ancient Trees: Woman Spends 14 Years Photographing World’s Oldest Trees - http://www.boredpanda.com/ancient-tree-photography-beth-moon/

Country: USA | Posts: 24106 Go to Top of Page
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