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Premium Member

Posted - 05/04/2016 :  11:43:59 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Be careful who takes Growacet! We're learning the hard way in the US this stuff might not be good for politicians.


Modeling 1890s (because the voices in my head told me to)

Country: USA | Posts: 8561 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/04/2016 :  4:13:13 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Some nice train footage with Blues rock great Joe Bonamassa. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUJzBHnD2Ys

Country: USA | Posts: 1079 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 05/12/2016 :  12:43:50 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
You really have to watch out for those cheapie lube shops:


Country: USA | Posts: 3316 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/16/2016 :  6:18:53 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Woman 1: Oh! You got a haircut! That’s so cute!
Woman 2: Do you think so? I wasn’t sure when she was gave me the mirror. I mean, you don’t think it’s too fluffy looking?
Woman 1: Oh God no! No, it’s perfect. I’d love to get my hair cut like that, but I think my face is too wide. I’m pretty much stuck with this stuff I think.
Woman 2: Are you serious? I think your face is adorable. And you could easily get one of those layer cuts – that would look so cute I think. I was actually going to do that except that I was afraid it would accent my long neck.
Woman 1: Oh – that’s funny! I would love to have your neck! Anything to take attention away from this two-by-four I have for a shoulder line.
Woman 2: Are you kidding? I know girls that would love to have your shoulders. Everything drapes so well on you. I mean, look at my arms – see how short they are? If I had your shoulders I could get clothes to fit me so much easier.

Man 1: Haircut?
Man 2: Yeah.


Country: USA | Posts: 5866 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/16/2016 :  6:19:54 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An old man went to the Doctor complaining that his wife could barely hear. The Doctor suggested a test to find out the extent of the problem. “Stand far behind her and ask her a question, and then slowly move up and see how far away you are when she first responds.”

The old man excited to finally be working on a solution for the problem, runs home and sees his wife preparing supper.

” Honey” the man asks standing around 20 feet away “whats for supper?”

After receiving no response he tried it again 15 feet away, and again no response. Then again at 10 feet away and again no response. Finally he was 5 feet away: “honey whats for supper?”



Edited by - CieloVistaRy on 05/16/2016 6:21:06 PM

Country: USA | Posts: 5866 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 05/18/2016 :  1:51:02 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
If it's almost your Birthday, and your wish is for your Honey to buy you that nice train down at the department store, I don't think this would go over too well!


Country: USA | Posts: 4621 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 05/20/2016 :  02:22:45 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
If Meat-Eaters Acted Like Vegans:


Country: USA | Posts: 3316 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/20/2016 :  07:56:21 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Heard at the bar........

"Hey, Buddie. This one's on me. Looks like you really need it. Tell me all about it."

"Yeah, the wife caught me crying in the kitchen and asked what was wrong."

"That doesn't sound too bad. So what happened?"

"I asked if she remembered the first time we meet and the first date we had. She replied, "Yes, darling.""

I asked her if she remembers that time her father caught us in the back seat of his car and how he pointed that shotgun at me and said, "Either you marry my little girl or spend the next 30 years in prison."

"Let me guess..... She replied, "Yes, darling."? So, what's so depressing about that?"

"You know.......I would of just been getting out of prison today."

No trees were harmed in the creation of this post, but several million electrons were mildly inconvenienced.

Country: USA | Posts: 2217 Go to Top of Page

Engine Wiper

Posted - 05/22/2016 :  12:59:12 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A bit long but worth it:

Shown below, is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86 year old woman.

The bank manager thought it amusing enough to have it published.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it.
I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension, an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only eight years.
You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank.
My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally answer your telephone calls and letters, — when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity which your bank has become.
From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person.
My mortgage and loan repayments will therefore and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.
Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope.
Please find attached an Application Contact which I require your chosen employee to complete.
I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative.
Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.
In due course, at MY convenience, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me.
I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my account balance on your phone bank service.
As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Let me level the playing field even further. When you call me, press buttons as follows:

#1. To make an appointment to see me

#2. To query a missing payment.

#3. To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.

#4 To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.

#5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.

#6. To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.

#7. To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.

Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized Contact mentioned earlier.
#8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through
#9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service.

#10. This is a second reminder to press* for English.

While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous New Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Don't make old people mad. We don't like being old in the first place, so it doesn't take much to p**s us off.

The V & T lives in my garage. Soon...


Country: USA | Posts: 190 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 05/22/2016 :  5:14:00 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote

I LOVE it!!!!

If Only!!!!!


Time is the Gauge of Existence

Country: Australia | Posts: 1356 Go to Top of Page

Frank Palmer

Posted - 05/22/2016 :  8:01:30 PM  Show Profile  Visit Frank Palmer's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Originally posted by anubis51


I LOVE it!!!!
If Only!!!!!



Country: USA | Posts: 5932 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 01/17/2017 :  10:12:12 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A young jockey and his girlfriend make the decision to get married.

Everything is planned and the couple intend to honeymoon in Italy for a week.

The marriage goes off without a hitch and the couple set off on their honeymoon.

While checking in at the hotel, the lady behind the desk asks, "We have two suites available for you. Would you like the Bridal?"

The young jockey relies, "No, thanks. I'll just hold her ears until she gets the hand of it."

No trees were harmed in the creation of this post, but several million electrons were mildly inconvenienced.

Country: USA | Posts: 2217 Go to Top of Page


Posted - 01/17/2017 :  10:50:29 AM  Show Profile  Visit railphotog's Homepage  Reply with Quote

Bob Boudreau
My model railroad photography website:

Country: Canada | Posts: 4027 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin

Posted - 01/17/2017 :  11:14:34 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote

Country: USA | Posts: 3316 Go to Top of Page


Premium Member

Posted - 01/18/2017 :  12:05:39 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Its good to see this thread, and it's contents, pop up again! Lord knows we need laughs these days!


Country: USA | Posts: 13752 Go to Top of Page
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