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Author Previous Topic: Thursday Topic Next Topic: Wednesday 3.15.15 later lounge
Page: of 43

Norton
Engine Wiper

Posted - 12/25/2015 :  01:09:26 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I love this guy. (No offense intended to anyone)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9YgZRvhpX0c

Merry Christmas everyone


The V & T lives in my garage. Soon...

Norton

Country: USA | Posts: 130 Go to Top of Page

jaynjay
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 12/29/2015 :  11:34:39 AM  Show Profile  Visit jaynjay's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy’s Pub in London. After awhile, one bloke looks at the other and says, “I can’t help but think, from listening to you, that you’re from Ireland.”

The other bloke responds proudly, “Yes, that I am!”

The first one says, “So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?”

The other bloke answers, “I’m from Dublin , I am.”

The first one responds, “So am I!”

“Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin?”

The other bloke says, “A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town.”

The first one says, “Faith and it’s a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?”

The other bloke answers, “Well now, I went to St. Mary’s, of course.” The first one gets really excited and says, “And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?”

The other bloke answers, “Well, now, let’s see. I graduated in 1964.”

The first one exclaims, “The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same place tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary’s in 1964 my own self!”

About this time, Vicky walks up to the bar, sits down and orders a drink.

Brian, the barman, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, “It’s going to be a long night tonight.”

Vicky asks, “Why do you say that, Brian?”

“The Murphy twins are drunk again.”



Country: USA | Posts: 5502 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 01/10/2016 :  9:01:22 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
But, no, not I, I will survive




Country: USA | Posts: 1070 Go to Top of Page

mabloodhound
Fireman



Posted - 01/16/2016 :  09:49:23 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
This morning I lucked out, and was
able to buy two boxes of ammo.

I placed the boxes on the front
seat and headed back home, but
stopped at a gas station where
a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a
short skirt was filling up her car
at the next pump.

She glanced at the two boxes of
ammo, bent over and leaned in my
passenger window, and said in a
sexy voice,
"I'm a big believer in barter, old
fella. Would you be interested
in trading sex for ammo?"

I thought for a few seconds and asked,
"What kind of ammo 'ya got?"





Dave Mason
D&G RR (Dunstead & Granford) in On30
“Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety, deserve neither liberty nor safety.”~Benjamin Franklin
The 2nd Amendment, America’s 1st Homeland Security

Country: USA | Posts: 6517 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin
Fireman



Posted - 01/19/2016 :  12:03:43 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Sometimes advertisers really need to put a little more thought into their ad campaigns. Currently Charmin brand toilet paper is using the slogan, "Enjoy the go".

Sorry, but I can't imagine any sane person coming out of a bathroom after taking a dump and saying, "Boy, I really enjoyed that!"




Country: USA | Posts: 2996 Go to Top of Page

George D
Moderator

Premium Member


Posted - 01/19/2016 :  08:33:16 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ray, that does make you wonder.

George



Country: USA | Posts: 13632 Go to Top of Page

jaynjay
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 01/24/2016 :  2:29:13 PM  Show Profile  Visit jaynjay's Homepage  Reply with Quote

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant take care of them for him. She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in an arrogant manner that he was a lawyer, and threatened what would happen to her if she let them thaw out.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans, please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

There are two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think.



Country: USA | Posts: 5502 Go to Top of Page

deemery
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 01/24/2016 :  3:35:20 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
quote:
Originally posted by Ray Dunakin

Sometimes advertisers really need to put a little more thought into their ad campaigns. Currently Charmin brand toilet paper is using the slogan, "Enjoy the go".

Sorry, but I can't imagine any sane person coming out of a bathroom after taking a dump and saying, "Boy, I really enjoyed that!"

There were a few times when I was in the military, living on MREs or even C Rations, when I heard people say that.

dave



Country: USA | Posts: 6152 Go to Top of Page

john holt
Engine Wiper



Posted - 01/26/2016 :  8:06:35 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Ray Dunakin....I just watched the video you post ed with the electronics guy.....I about laughed my ass off !

GULF COAST & WESTERN


Country: USA | Posts: 281 Go to Top of Page

BurleyJim
Fireman

Premium Member


Posted - 01/26/2016 :  8:46:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Not too funny, especially for the FEDEX Lady...


140lb Shepard/Chow mix. Great farm dog.



Country: USA | Posts: 1933 Go to Top of Page

john holt
Engine Wiper



Posted - 01/26/2016 :  9:33:11 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Try this on for size...Walmart Shoppers.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSg7PbL8yDg


GULF COAST & WESTERN


Country: USA | Posts: 281 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 01/29/2016 :  11:35:32 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Tiny model railroad in glasses case:
https://youtu.be/-m8H669nXxI



Edited by - teaspoon on 01/29/2016 11:37:38 AM

Country: USA | Posts: 1070 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 01/29/2016 :  11:41:52 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
I've got an injured extraterrestrial in my shed, he's missing an eye... We call him Alen.

As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21451 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 02/05/2016 :  7:26:09 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Belgian artists Job Smeets and Nynke Tynagel of Studio Job have symbolized their romantic break-up as a head-on collision between two steam trains.





Edited by - teaspoon on 02/05/2016 7:39:20 PM

Country: USA | Posts: 1070 Go to Top of Page

mwbpequod
Fireman



Posted - 03/11/2016 :  08:39:50 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Overheard at the bar.........

So, what’d you do on your day off?
I went to the beach.
Have any fun?
For a while, but then there was some poor ****** in the water yelling “SHARK” "HELP!”
Oh my god! What did you do?
Nothing. I sat there and laughed. I just knew that shark wasn’t going to help him.


___________________________________________________________________
After the first glass, you see things as you wish they were.
After the second, you see things as they are not.
Finally, you see things as they really are, and that is the most horrible thing in the world.

Country: USA | Posts: 1427 Go to Top of Page
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