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Author Previous Topic: Wilholds Decorators Glue? Topic Next Topic: Thursday morning lounge
Page: of 43

anubis51
Fireman



Posted - 12/21/2013 :  3:41:48 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hear about the Sporting Rabbit?

Did his doe, his mate's doe, and fifty bucks besides....





John



Time is the Gauge of Existence

Country: Australia | Posts: 1302 Go to Top of Page

Tyson Rayles
Moderator

Premium Member


Posted - 12/21/2013 :  9:43:27 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
The insect sculptures are amazing!

Mike

Country: USA | Posts: 12270 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 12/24/2013 :  10:14:12 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
A DEA Agent stopped at a ranch in Texas and talked to an old rancher. He told the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." The rancher said, "okay, but don't go into that field over there...", as he pointed out the location. The DEA Agent verbally exploded and said, "look mister, I have the authority of the federal government with me!" Reaching into his rear back pocket, the arrogant officer removed his badge and proudly displayed it to the rancher. "See this badge?! This badge means I can go wherever I want... On any land! No questions asked, no answers given! Do you understand old man?!"

The rancher kindly nodded, apologized, and went about his chores. Moments later the rancher heard loud screams, he looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life, being chased by the ranchers big Santa Gertrudis Bull...... With every step the bull was gaining ground on the officer, and it was likely that he'd sure enough get gored before he reached safety. The officer was clearly terrified. The old rancher threw down his tools, ran as fast as he could to the fence, and yelled at the top of his lungs......

"YOUR BADGE! SHOW HIM YOUR BADGE!"



Country: USA | Posts: 1071 Go to Top of Page

anubis51
Fireman



Posted - 12/25/2013 :  5:10:06 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
An inebriated man staggered out of a late-night watering hole at 4 am, and stumbled along the street, neither knowing nor caring where he was.

With double-vision and swaying movements, he unconsciously made his way down the stairs to the city underground, where he spent a confused period, watching the almost-empty trains pull in and out .

After two hours of being 'trapped' beneath the city streets, he managed to claw his way back up to the street level, where an early morning commuter asked him if he was all right.

"Sheeet, I'm all right," he slurred, "But I've just been down in that guy's basement, and BOY! you should see the size of his train set..."





John




Time is the Gauge of Existence

Country: Australia | Posts: 1302 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin
Fireman



Posted - 12/25/2013 :  9:13:23 PM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
We had Christmas brunch with my wife's folks today at their assisted living facility. While we were there I noticed a chalkboard with this message on it:

"Santa Claus is so jolly because he knows where all the bad girls live!"




Country: USA | Posts: 3010 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin
Fireman



Posted - 12/31/2013 :  02:23:24 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
Fortunately no one ever built a prototype:

http://blog.modernmechanix.com/compressed-air-to-shoot-packages-into-moving-train/

A bet the inspiration for this invention came out of a bottle. :)



Country: USA | Posts: 3010 Go to Top of Page

nhguy
Fireman



Posted - 01/02/2014 :  12:21:08 AM  Show Profile  Visit nhguy's Homepage  Send nhguy a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
A Marvelous organ. Too Funny! Bill

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1XWo4ufMkG4


Bill Shanaman
New Haven RR
Hartford Division
in Colorado.

Country: USA | Posts: 4763 Go to Top of Page

Ray Dunakin
Fireman



Posted - 01/02/2014 :  01:51:04 AM  Show Profile  Visit Ray Dunakin's Homepage  Reply with Quote
LOL!

Here's another one by the same fellow:

http://youtu.be/TFCuE5rHbPA




Country: USA | Posts: 3010 Go to Top of Page

teaspoon
Fireman

Premium Member

Posted - 01/05/2014 :  09:50:27 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Looks like someone's been watching too many Steve McQueen movies.



Edited by - teaspoon on 01/05/2014 09:52:29 AM

Country: USA | Posts: 1071 Go to Top of Page

nhguy
Fireman



Posted - 01/06/2014 :  2:30:19 PM  Show Profile  Visit nhguy's Homepage  Send nhguy a Yahoo! Message  Reply with Quote
vita viest lavorum Funny. Bill

https://www.youtube.com/embed/0AKvRvL5r3A?rel=0


Bill Shanaman
New Haven RR
Hartford Division
in Colorado.

Country: USA | Posts: 4763 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 01/07/2014 :  10:48:53 AM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Lawyers should never ask a Georgia grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you.'
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, 'Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?' She again replied, 'Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster, too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem.
He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state.
Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women.
One of them was your wife.
Yes, I know him.'
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and, in a very quiet voice, said, 'If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll send you both to the electric chair.


As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21454 Go to Top of Page

Tyson Rayles
Moderator

Premium Member


Posted - 01/07/2014 :  2:47:08 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Mike

Country: USA | Posts: 12270 Go to Top of Page

northern6400
Fireman



Posted - 01/07/2014 :  4:55:28 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote


Chuck Faist
Burlington, Ontario
Enjoy yourself it is later than you think!

Country: Canada | Posts: 3488 Go to Top of Page

Rick
Administrator

Premium Member


Posted - 01/09/2014 :  3:35:16 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
In pictures: Niagara Falls freeze over on US side - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/northamerica/usa/10560654/In-pictures-Niagara-Falls-freeze-over-on-US-side.html?frame=2785541

As you think, so will you be.

Country: USA | Posts: 21454 Go to Top of Page

anubis51
Fireman



Posted - 01/09/2014 :  4:15:57 PM  Show Profile  Reply with Quote
Hey Rick,

Must be Global Warming ....er Freezing...er er..

Weather forecasts here in Melbourne for mid to high 30s (C)today, with over 40 C next week.

Please send some ice over...


John



Time is the Gauge of Existence

Country: Australia | Posts: 1302 Go to Top of Page
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