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T O P I C R E V I E W |
Rick |
Posted - 10/01/2012 : 10:29:01 AM I'm starting this new thread as a place to post jokes, videos, pictures and just about any other off topic thing you want to put here. Two reasons for doing this. One, it helps cut down on the number of threads in the Lounge. Second, it makes finding videos, pictures or jokes that were posted in the past easier to find. I've tried finding things that were posted and wanted to see again but sometimes I just couldn't find it.
I hope everyone enjoys this thread and even contributes to it from time to time. |
15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First) |
mabloodhound |
Posted - 04/17/2018 : 08:27:43 AM
An Engineer dies and goes to Hell. Dissatisfied with the level of comfort, he starts designing and building improvements. After a while, Hell has air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets and escalators, and the engineer is a pretty popular guy. One day God calls and asks Satan, "So, how are things going down there?” Satan says, why, things are going great. We've now got air conditioning, iced water, flush toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this Engineer is going to come up with next.” God is horrified. "What? You've got an Engineer? That's clearly a mistake – he should never have gone down there! You know all Engineers go to Heaven. Send him up here immediately! "Satan says, "No way, I really like having an Engineer on the staff. I'm keeping him.” God says, "Send him back up here or I'll sue you.” "Yeah, right," Satan laughs, "and where are you going to get a Lawyer?"
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Rick |
Posted - 04/06/2018 : 10:56:43 AM  |
MarcusF |
Posted - 03/15/2018 : 10:54:11 PM I told my wife I thought she'd pencilled her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised. |
Rick |
Posted - 03/15/2018 : 5:15:37 PM The devil walks into a Catholic Church. Everyone runs out screaming except for one very weathered man. The devil confronts him and asks, “Why are you not afraid of me?” The weathered man replies, “I married your sister”.... |
Ray Dunakin |
Posted - 02/23/2018 : 12:55:55 AM "Her pigeon toes keep a' peckin' her corns..." -- Homer and Jethro |
Rick |
Posted - 02/20/2018 : 04:55:23 AM “My wife can’t cook at all. I got the only dog that begs for Alka-Seltzer.” - Rodney Dangerfield |
Jack M |
Posted - 02/16/2018 : 02:06:54 AM There is or was a couple of DJ's at a Tulsa, OK radio station who call people with prank telephone calls which are requested by the target's friends or coworkers. They made a few CD's and here is one of the segments from one of their CD's. The DJ's use a name of Roy D. Murcer as the individual who calls the target and threatens him with factitious events.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt4NIDiuips
Jack M. |
nortonw |
Posted - 02/16/2018 : 12:16:45 AM Jaynjay (John),
After you posted your previous link to those DJ's from SoCal, I went and found another of their hilarious clips. This is one of my favorites.
https://www.youtube.com./watch?v=I9x5xvlyZIk
I listened to one of their CD's while I was working today.
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nortonw |
Posted - 02/09/2018 : 12:20:37 AM Love these guys John. My favorite happens to be the Obscene Phone Bust. Or Montague for Governor. But I'll listen to most any of their stuff.
Thanks for sharing.
P.S. I found that Obscene Phone Call clip on YouTube as well. |
jaynjay |
Posted - 02/08/2018 : 11:11:00 AM The guys were DJ's in the LA area, they made a few comedy records and this was the most propular
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qoPXzsOcaxs
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Rick |
Posted - 02/08/2018 : 06:34:20 AM WC Fields playing pool https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CQYNvEPi9-s |
ed k |
Posted - 12/31/2017 : 11:53:31 AM Mostly true stories. Good way to end 2017, which has been quite the bad joke. ed |
mwbpequod |
Posted - 12/31/2017 : 10:54:33 AM I was a very happy man. My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. There was only one little thing bothering me. It was her beautiful younger sister.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty two, wore very tight miniskirts and generally was bra-less. She would regularly bend down when she was near me and I always got a more than nice view. It had to be deliberate, because she never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day her 'little' sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived and she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome. She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.
Well, I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom and if you want one last wild fling, just come up and get me."
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. I stood there for a moment, then turned and made a beeline straight to the front door. I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo and behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping! With tears in his eyes, my future father-in-law hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family."
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car. |
Norton |
Posted - 06/05/2017 : 12:38:58 PM A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table."
The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "No, he didn't. He just walked in the door." |
Norton |
Posted - 06/05/2017 : 12:38:04 PM An Indian Chief was asked by a U.S. government official: “You have observed the white man for 90 years. You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress and the damage he’s done.”
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, “Considering all these events, in your opinion where did the white man go wrong?”
The Chief stared at the government official and then replied, “When they came here, there was no tax, no debt, plenty of food, clean water. Women did all the work, medicine was free. We spent all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.”
Then the Chief leaned back and smiled, “Only the white man was dumb enough to think he could improve a system like that.” |
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