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|T O P I C R E V I E W
||Posted - 10/01/2012 : 10:29:01 AM
I'm starting this new thread as a place to post jokes, videos, pictures and just about any other off topic thing you want to put here.
Two reasons for doing this.
One, it helps cut down on the number of threads in the Lounge.
Second, it makes finding videos, pictures or jokes that were posted in the past easier to find.
I've tried finding things that were posted and wanted to see again but sometimes I just couldn't find it.
I hope everyone enjoys this thread and even contributes to it from time to time.
|15 L A T E S T R E P L I E S (Newest First)
||Posted - 04/06/2020 : 02:58:57 AM
||Posted - 04/06/2020 : 02:32:24 AM
I got a good laugh out of this video -- a bit of humor about our viral times:
||Posted - 03/31/2020 : 09:02:08 AM
A man is driving down the road and looks out the window and sees a chicken running alongside the car. He looks at his speedometer and sees he going 35 mph! He speeds up to 45 mph and the chicken is still there and he notices the chicken has three legs! Now he is up to 55 mph and the three legged chicken is still there! Then the chicken takes off, passes the car crosses the road in front of him and runs up into a barnyard. He sees a farmer standing out there so he pulls over gets out and walks up to the farmer. He tells the farmer he can't believe that he just saw a three legged chicken that could run over 55 mph! The farmer said "I know, he's my chicken, I raise three legged chickens." "Why do you raise three legged chickens" the guy asked. "Everybody loves drumsticks and with a three legged chicken you get 50% more drumsticks with the same amount of chickens." "Makes sense" says the guy. "How do they taste?" he asks. " Don't know" says the farmer, "We haven't been able to catch one."
||Posted - 03/26/2020 : 12:44:38 PM
I bought my friends an elephant for their living room.
They said, "Thank you."
I said, "Please don't mention it."
||Posted - 02/29/2020 : 11:45:25 PM
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"
(You're gonna love this.)
The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."
(You sang it, didn't you? Yeah, I know you did.)
||Posted - 02/14/2020 : 07:46:30 AM
||Posted - 02/08/2020 : 01:12:09 AM
||Posted - 02/06/2020 : 07:33:30 AM
||Posted - 01/19/2020 : 8:19:27 PM
Tech Support: OK, now right click.
Customer: Which one's that?
Tech Support: On the right side of the mouse.
Customer: I'm left handed.
Tech Support: OK, well, look at the mouse and click whichever button you don't normally click on.
Customer: That's the left for me.
Tech Support: OK, click that.
Customer: With which hand?
(An actual computer tech support call)
||Posted - 01/15/2020 : 09:32:18 AM
Good one Rick.
||Posted - 01/15/2020 : 03:00:06 AM
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
There were all the regular types of stuff:
Spilled milk and pennies saved.
But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Allie was left.
"Allie, do you have a story to share?"
'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Navy pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops.
She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."
''Good Heavens," said the horrified teacher.....
What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"
"Don't MESS with Mommy when she's been drinking."
||Posted - 12/19/2019 : 07:40:20 AM
A circus owner runs an advert for a 'lion tamer wanted' and two people show up.
One is a retired golfer in his late-sixties and the other is a drop-dead, gorgeous brunette with a killer body in her mid-twenties.
The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious lion. He ate my last tamer so you two had better be good or you're history."
"Here's your equipment -- a chair, a whip and a gun. Who wants to try out first?"
The gorgeous brunette says, "I'll go first."
She walks past the chair, the whip and the gun and steps right into the lion's cage.
The lion starts to snarl and pant and begins to charge her. As he gets close, the gorgeous brunette throws open her coat revealing her beautiful, perfect naked body.
The lion stops dead in his tracks, sheepishly crawls up to her and starts licking her feet and ankles. He continues to lick and kiss every inch of her body for several minutes, then lays down and rests his head at her feet.
The circus owner's jaw is on the floor!! He says, "That's amazing! I've never seen anything like that in my life!"
He then turns to the retired golfer and asks, "Can you top that?"
The old golfer replies, "Possibly...but you've got to get that lion out of there first."
||Posted - 11/05/2019 : 06:33:49 AM
||Posted - 10/27/2019 : 8:19:11 PM
An Arizona Highway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred’ he replies.
‘Fred what?” the officer asks.
‘Just Fred’ the man responds. The officer, in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him again for a last name.
The man tells him that he used to have a last name but he lost it.
The officer thinks he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it. ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’
The biker replies, ’It’s a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through school, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD. So now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS with VD. Well the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am just Fred.’
The officer walked away in tears, laughing.
||Posted - 10/26/2019 : 02:18:13 AM
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